Songfic Shuffle
by Priestess-Of-Blue
Summary: Kenshin Singing Baby Got Back? Inuyasha in suspenders? Miroku and ::cough:: Sesshomaru singing together? What the Hell? Well, You can only find the karaoke insanity at SONGFIC SHUFFLE! Enjoy! COMPLETE FOR NOW!
1. Kenshin's Got Back?

POB: Hey what-is-up everyone? I am The PriestessOfBlue (POB) about to start my first humor fiction! Wahahahahahahahahaha ::Eyes roll into back of head, laughs maniacally::  
  
Dee: You can tell that this is...indeed her first...::slowly backs away...::  
  
POB: This is inspired by that really funny story about the Inuyasha gang singing songs by...well you know who you are! (Thank you Miss Banshee!) Yeah, and I want to let you all know...that I am insane.  
  
Dee: I think everyone, even if they were contemplating on it knew that before you even finished your mediocre words.  
  
POB: Enough with your big vocabulary! On with the show!  
  
Dee: But I am not do-  
  
::POB whacks Dee with her bokken, drags her body to a bed, and shoves her under it.::  
  
POB: ::Thinks to herself:: Fuuuucck, I knocked out Dee, and now I don't have anyone to do the disclaimer... ::Snickers.:: Unless...  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Five Minutes Later::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Del: Coco, I really don't want to do this.  
  
POB: You can, and you will.  
  
Del: You will pay so fucking dearly for this.  
  
POB: Been there, heard that, now, TALK! ::Pokes Del with bokken, then turns on Teletubbie music.::  
  
::Tape:: Tinky-Winky Del: GOD MAKE IT STOOOPPPPP! ::Tape:: Dipsy Del: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! ::Tape:: La-La Del: ::Screams like a little girl, then cries.:: ::Tape:: Po! Del: OKKKKAAAAAYYYY! ::Talks really fast.:: The Priestess Of Blue does not own any of the characters mentioned except for Cocomi Myojin and Del in which she will definitely make her love slave... ::Winces.:: Wait, is that what the cue card says-  
  
POB: Oooooook, thank you Del. Now on with the show!  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Chapter One::::::::::::::::::::  
  
:: We now go to a big Dome. Inside that Dome there is a room based for a television show. This is a once in a lifetime event, so the place is decorated up all nice and stuff, and there is a really big stage, a DJ booth, a humungous dance floor, and some mikes, along with all the instruments a band would ever need. Makeup people do their thing to the apperancees, directors run around on the set, and the cameramen adjust their sets. A woman prepares to go live as the guards by the door start to let in pouring fans as music starts so they can dance on the floor and add to the scene.::  
  
Cameraman: Ok, we are on in three, two, one-  
  
Woman: Konichiwa Minna-Sans! This is Karimukiyukesuki Lee reporting from the Daisuke Dome, and I am ready to party, along with the viewers at home and the people ready to dance their asses off here! I would like to say welcome to Songfic Shuffle, the only show where we take your favorite Anime characters, and force them to sing songs you vote on, while performing a dancing act as well. Honestly, this is better than Dance Dance Revolution!  
  
Cameraman: ::Rolls eyes.::  
  
Woman: Ok, I am going to hand it over to our hosts for the evening, Kenji, Dee, and Cocomi!  
  
::Guest dancers hoot, holler, scream.::  
  
Kenji: Hi, I'm Kenji Himura!  
  
::Girls scream, a bra is thrown at his feet.::  
  
Kenji: ::Blushes:: I didn't know I was that popular...  
  
::Cocomi bursts in, she looks really happy and upbeat, and stands by Kenji, jumping up and down simultaneously.::  
  
Cocomi: And I am Cocomi Myojin! ::Giggles::  
  
::Boys whistle, yell.::  
  
Guy from crowd: ::Screams:: Hey Coco, show us your milkshake!  
  
Kenji: Screams quickly. Who said that?! ::Pounces on first guy he sees. Persists to beat the shit out of him.::  
  
Cocomi: ::Eyes stare widely and innocently.:: Oh, I am so stupid! I forgot the last part of my name, Himura! Sorry about that...heh...I am getting married in a month. See the ring?  
  
::Flashes and shows it first to the camera, then everyone in the audience, they scream.::  
  
Girl: ::Screams.:: PUT IT AWAY!  
  
Guy: Ahhhhh! MY EYES!  
  
::Boys start to yell even louder.::  
  
Second Guy From Crowd: Hey, if you aren't available, then it makes you even hotter! Yeah!  
  
Cocomi: ::Sweat Drops.::  
  
Dee: God, am I like, the singled one out here? You forgot me!  
  
::No one is listening to Dee because the fight is getting really good and people are screaming 'FIGHT FIGHT and Kenji is getting a really good uppercut on a guy he doesn't even know, and Cocomi is standing there like she can't see anything, without a clue as to what is going on because her ring is so bright.::  
  
Dee: Ok, since this does not look like it will work out, I am going to host the show.  
  
::Mike is stolen from her.::  
  
Kenji: Nnnoo, Coco and I are going to host this. You can go do something else. ::Smiles innocently, starts to tickle Coco.::  
  
Dee: ::Mumbles inappropriate language to self, stomps off to snack bar, then sulks.:: Do you guys need any help?  
  
Cocomi: ::Laughs:: Ahahahahahahahah stop it Kenji-sama! Ahahahahhahaha oohohohohohoh hehehehehehehe!  
  
::Kenji holds her in his arms and stares into the camera and talks into his mike as she tries to turn hers on.::  
  
Kenji: Welcome everyone to Songfic Shuffle! The show where you make the Anime guys and gals of your dreams sing the songs you all vote in!  
  
Cocomi: ::Still giggling.:: and they have no practice whatsoever, so it is quite the spectacle of funny. They get one hour to prepare, and then on with the show! At the end of the program, you get to vote on who was the best, and once all the votes are counted, the winner gets the ::Raises fingers with Kenji and they quote.:: BIG SURPRISE!  
  
Kenji: Soo, here we go. The future Mrs. Himura has the list, and we are about to get started! :: He hugs her even tighter from behind, she blushes.::  
  
Cocomi: Ok, first up, Kensh-::Bursts into a fit of laughter.::  
  
Kenji: What? :: Looks concerned, because her laughing sounds really evil. ::  
  
Cocomi: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ::Cries while she is laughing.::  
  
Cocomi: Ahahahahaha, first up is Kenshin Himura!  
  
Kenji: Dad, where are ya? ::looks around in crowd.::  
  
Guy#3: THERE HE IS! DRAG HIM TO THE STAGE!  
  
Kenshin: ::Wails.:: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
::Dancers bring him up to the stage and the DJ mixes some suspense music.::  
  
DJ: Ok, Kenshin Himura, you were chosen, and the fans secretly voted without you knowing! The song they want you to sing is...BABY GOT BACK! And they also wanted you to add in a part of your own in the rapping section!  
  
Kenshin: ORO? No, I am not going to-  
  
Crowd: Loser, loser, loser!  
  
Guy#3: Stupid wanderer! You are such a wuss I bet if you had a chance you would wander up your own ass!  
  
Kenshin: Stupid member of the imperialist army! I will show you! ::Steals mike:: Where is the changing room?  
  
::Is directed to the room.::  
  
::::::::::::::::::::One Hour Later::::::::::::::::::::  
  
::Inuyasha and the gang show up late.::  
  
Inuyasha: I heard that this was going to be really cool...it looks gay ALREADY. ::Fehs.::  
  
Kagome: Oh, Inuyasha, you are so stubborn! Kenji, Cocomi and Dee said they were going to be here, and they said we all had to come! Plus, it's a dance party, so I am going to make you dance!  
  
Inuyasha: Not in the Seven Hells you aren't.  
  
Miroku: I would watch out, Inuyasha. ::Laughs.:: It's like she has a leash on you with that rosary. ::Looks around and sees a lot of hot girls.:: I think this is the night, Miroku...the night you get laid!  
  
Sango: We'll see about that, Player.  
  
Miroku: ::Looks at her weird, then whispers under breath.:: Don't call me that when all these people are around! They may find out...  
  
Sango: Who said they didn't?  
  
Shippo: Wow! This is awesome! Hey guys, look I think Kenshin is about to perform...  
  
::All stare at stage, then Inuyasha lets out a large guffaw.::  
  
Inuyasha: HAHAHAHAHA man I wonder if he can sing.  
  
Shippo: Like you? ::Snickers.::  
  
Inuyasha: What are you talking about? ::Looks uneasy..::  
  
Shippo: Oh, you didn't tell everyone else did ya? Inuyasha sings while he is taking his bath, whenever that is. He listens to Kagome's CD player! He's sung to Christina Augilera, Brittany Spears, 50 Cent, all that good stuff!  
  
::Inuyasha pounces on Shippo and beats him up till there is nothing but a tail left.::  
  
Sango: Inuyasha! I have to admit that was quite funny. He is pretty annoying.  
  
Kagome: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES?  
  
All: Yeah! ::Go to see the couple.::  
  
Both: Hey, what's up Inu and Sango and Kagome and...::shuuddeerrss:: Miiiirooookkuuuu.  
  
Miroku: Hello! Gods Cocomi is it me or do you look hotter every time I see you? ::Making a pass.::  
  
Cocomi: It is nice of you to say that...::Blushes, then makes sure she has easy access to pepper spray.::  
  
Kenji: Dad's just about to perform on the stage, whoa is this going to be funny or what? ::Shakes head and laughs to self.::  
  
::Suddenly, the music for the song turns on, and everything is shadowed by the dark, until the light suddenly shows a figure standing with his legs spread and a hat on his head backwards. His ponytail is to the left of his head and he is wearing a Fubu sweater with baggy Enyce Jeans on. A chain hangs from them and his neck is over weighted with over fifteen gold necklaces. One of them is a dragon...)::  
  
Kenshin: ::Screams.:: Are you all ready to get DOWN?  
  
Girls From Crowd: ::Screams.:: AAAAAHHHHHHH!  
  
Girl#1: Kenshin I love you! Kenshin you my baby's daddy! Kenshin!  
  
Kenshin: Heh, uh, oh, thank you honey.  
  
::Girl is Kaoru waving a makeshift sign in the air.::  
  
::Kenshin starts to sing as the song starts, back-up dancers dance very funky to the rhythm.::  
  
Kenshin:  
  
I LIKE BIG BUTS AND I CANNOT LIE! YOU OTHER BROTHA'S CAN'T DENY! WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE YOU GET SPRUNG! LIKE A RABBIT I JUST CAN'T GET OUTTA THIS HABIT! WHEN GROPIN' IS A MUST AND YA TOUCHIN GIRLS' BUTTS YOU JUST START TO LOSE CONTROL!  
  
::Kenshin jumps up and spins on his head while the girls dance. All guests dance and whistle and cheer.::  
  
Kenji: ::Stares blankly.:: That is not...my dad.  
  
Inuyasha: Oh yes it is! Look at your old man go! ::Laughs to self, then snorts.::  
  
Kagome: Kenji, I didn't know that Mr. Himura could, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
::Kenji is noticeably embarrassed, cries on Cocomi's shoulder, but her shoulder is moving vigorously.::  
  
Cocomi: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::Cries.::  
  
::Kenshin finishes dancing and he bows, and then walks uneasily off the stage. Kaoru runs over to kiss him, and the people cheer for him. Kenji still is crying.::  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Meanwhile...::::::::::::::::::::  
  
::Sesshomaru and Naraku are walking through the halls, trying to find the main room.::  
  
Sesshy: I really do not want to be here. ::Retorts.:: I REALLY do not want to-  
  
Naraku: Oh, come on. I told you that if you came as my date, then you would get your arm back. ::Winks.::  
  
Sesshy: ::Gags.:: Ack! Your date?  
  
Naraku: Do you have a problem with that? It looks like your arm does. ::Takes arm out of pants, shakes it.::  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Winces.:: You keep it there?  
  
Naraku: Wahahahaha, yes, baby, I keep it there. Just to fill in some empty spaces, des ka?  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Gags, runs away.::  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Next time on SONGFIC SHUFFLE...::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Dee: You ungrateful bleep bleep bleeps are going to PPPPAAAAAYYYYY!  
  
Cocomi: AAAAHHHHHHH!  
  
Inuyasha: Hell no, I ain't performing some stupid 'Hey 'ya'!  
  
All: YES YOU ARE!  
  
POB: Wow, that took the wind out of me writing that.  
  
Dee: Yeah, we can smell it too.  
  
Del: No, that was me.  
  
POB and Dee: ...........................  
  
POB: So...er, yeah, so Del, I am so sorry about that...  
  
Del: Yeah, that's ok. ::Looks at her pevertedly.:: I enjoyed EVERY minute of it.  
  
POB: Well there is more where that came from...  
  
Dee: I am not here I am not here, I am only air....I am not here I am not here I am only air...  
  
OK GUYS, I IMMENSLY THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING THE TIME FOR READING THIS! IF YOU GUYS WANT TO REQUEST A VERY CRAZY SONG FOR AN INUYASHA/KENSHIN CHARCTER TO SING LET ME KNOW BY REVIEWING, AND NO MATTER HOW MANY POSTS I DO NOT RECEIVE I AM GOING TO KEEP POSTING, BECAUSE I CAN, AND I WILL! THANK YOU! FOR NOW, SAYONARA! 


	2. Heyyyy Inu 3000!

POB: Wow, Del...::Breathes heavily.::  
  
Del: ::Panting.:: What?  
  
POB: You can do a really good disclaimer! I am almost breathless...::Smiles, breathes again steadily.::  
  
Del: I know I can...::Smirks.::  
  
Dee: ::Screams.:: That is so freikin' obvious! Why can't the two of you just come out and say that you had a quickie? You two couldn't lie even if your life depended on it...  
  
Del: Well, she's much better than you!  
  
POB: You were with her too, DEL? ::Eyes turn fiery.::  
  
Del: Let me do this so I can at least get it over with before I am dragged to hell...::Looks back at the two who are about to indulge in a catfight.:: Ok, POB does not own anyone in here except for Cocomi Myojin, and me...::Cries to self...::  
  
Dee: I am going to pull those extensions out of your head!  
  
POB: When I am done with you, you are going to go from a C cup to a negative A cup!  
  
Del: Run while you still , readers of this deadly fan fic, RUN!  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Chapter Two::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Kenshin had just finished performing his sweet little rendition of "Baby Got Back," and now he is being escorted of the stage by two good-looking P. Diddy music video dancers.  
  
Dancer One: Oooh, Kenshin, you were all up in that in the stage, yo!  
  
Dancer Two: You could tell you were hittin' that like it was a baseball bat!  
  
Kenshin: Oro? ::Cannot understand what they are saying.:: Well, I guess, if you want me to walk around with you girls for the rest of the night, then I can, that I will. ::Looks oddly at them.::  
  
Dancers: COOL! ::Laugh.::  
  
Dancer One: ::Whispers to Two.:: We are going to make Kaoru so jealous!  
  
Now we go back to the hosts, who are looking for the next nomination on the lists.  
  
Kenji: Baby, you look like you are going to kill someone. Do you need help with that?  
  
Cocomi: ::Smiles.:: No, I'm ok, but thank you sweetie.  
  
Kenji:, Oh, I forgot we were still on air ::Hurries to turn to camera.::...Hey everyone! Welcome back! Kenji Himura and Cocomi Myojin Himura still speaking! We are currently looking for the new entry. We thought we had it, but we don't so, yeah.  
  
Cocomi:::Shrieks.:: Eek, is that, is that DEE?  
  
::Dee is standing on top of the stage at the podium with a microphone, and she looks really mad. Her hair is frizzed, and her left eye is uncontrollably twitching.::  
  
Dee: ::Laughs weird.:: You thought you could just dump me like that, but you were oh so wrong! ::Screams with happiness.:: I have the next entry, but there is no way in hell I am giving it to the Life front cover couple of 2004! That's all you ever talk about! What you are going to do at the wedding, what you are going to do for the lame bachelorette party that you will not have any excitement at because you want to be with only Kenji. Believe me when I say I COULD EXPOSE EVERYTHING YOUR DIRTY LITTLE BODIES CONVEY! ::Winces.::  
  
Inuyasha: I think she got into my LSD... ::Backs away from podium.::  
  
Kagome: Oh no...::looks in horror.::  
  
Dee: ::Makes her way over to Inuyasha.:: I could also expose you too, Inuyasha...::Pulls him up to stage and turns him so he unwillingly faces the audience,:: Your tough Inu right here is going to sing "Hey 'Ya". Honestly, he has a really good voice...does Christina Augilera ring a bell?  
  
Inuyasha: ::Face turns red.:: I ain't singing no damn Hey Ya'! I am a rocker, not a rapper.  
  
Guy#1: ::Screams.:: SEND HIM TO THE DRESSING ROOM!  
  
All: YAY!  
  
Inuyasha: ::Screams.:: You all will die at the hand of Tetsuiaga! Not one of you will live to see another rising of the sun! You all will burn in hell with the other cretins that belong you sons of-  
  
Dee: ::Cuts him off.:: Ok, Ok, you are going to come with me. Please, enough with the swearing. Anyways, studies show that 99% of the people who promise threats do not end up keeping them.  
  
Inuyasha: Shows what the hell scientists know. ::Yells.:: You can't make me go to that room!  
  
Dee: ::Clicks her gun.:: Oh really? ::Holds it to his head, binds his arms.:: Now, let's go into that dressing room like a good little inu.  
  
Inuyasha: DON"T CALL ME THAT! ::Winces.::  
  
::Dee takes him to the dressing room as the crowd goes restless. Meanwhile, an odd noise is heard from a closet as we cannot see the two hosts.  
  
Closet: ::Thump, thump.::  
  
Cocomi: ::Gasps.:: Oh god! Ooohh, Kenji, hurry up or we won't make it to host the rest!  
  
Kenji: I'm ::Gasp.:: Pushing...::Gasp.:: As hard as I can! ::Gasp.::  
  
Meanwhile, the Inu gang walks by the closet, and aware of the noise, become curious.::  
  
Kagome: ::Gasps.:: SHIPPO! CLOSE YOUR EARS! ::Closes his ears as she cringes in disgust.::  
  
Sango: ::Shakes head in pity.:: Well, they could have at least waited until they got home!  
  
Miroku: Hmm, I wonder if Kenji likes the idea of having a threesome. It would be pretty fun...  
  
::Before he can respond he is hit upside the head with a boomerang. He sulks and rubs it and cries, while the voice in his head laughs uncontrollably.::  
  
Voice: I told you that if you did not change your ways then you would die a most painful death! Wahahahaha!  
  
Miroku: ::Rolls eyes.:: I thought my medication got rid of you.  
  
Voice: SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW!  
  
::All of a sudden, the door busts open and two hosts fall down all red and gasping for air.::  
  
Kenji: I ::Gasp.:: Hate ::Gasp.:: THAT DOOR!  
  
Sango: You two are so sick...and so vile...I have nothing else to say.  
  
Cocomi: ::Looks seriously.:: It's not what you think!  
  
::Dee appears out of nowhere with InuYasha and a leash around his neck::  
  
Dee: Oh really now? I could have sworn I heard something else. ::Smirks at them all:: Well I got to go. InuYasha still has a show to do. ::Glares at InuYasha:: MOVE IT DOG BOY!  
  
InuYasha: ::Spits at her feet.:: I don't take orders from bitches, bitch!  
  
::Dee pulls out bazooka and points it at his head::  
  
Dee: I am not A bitch. I am THE bitch.  
  
::InuYasha looks in horror and goes back to the floor and starts to imitate a real dog.::  
  
InuYasha: I am sorry I ever questioned your authority...  
  
Dee: ::Glares.:: What else?  
  
InuYasha: There ain't shit else to say!  
  
Dee: ::Pulls his collar so he gasps and starts to choke.:: YES MA'AM!  
  
::Dee runs off with Inu and the rest of the gang are still staring at the couple on the floor.::  
  
Kenji: Why the hell are you still looking at us like that? It was just a locked door!  
  
Cocomi: Wait, do you guys think we...we...NO! That would bring disgrace to the Myojin Family...  
  
Kenji: Especially if I were to do that thing she likes when I-  
  
Kagome: ::Looks then speaks.:: ENOUGH! We heard you the first time...no reason in lying to us...  
  
::Bickering suddenly stops, because the show is about to start.::  
  
Guy #2: Hey, where's COCO?  
  
Guy #3: I don't know, but I do know one thing-I don't want to watch a show like this without seeing her.  
  
Girl: Especially any show hosted by that crack-addict up there.  
  
Dee: ::Glares.:: What'd you say you two-timing no good piece of whore trash!?  
  
Girl: ::Backs away.:: I-I-I'm sorry...  
  
Dee: ::Screams.:: TO HELL YOU"RE NOT!  
  
Girl: You wanna go? I swear I will knock the shit out of you!  
  
Dee: BRING IT ON BITCH!  
  
::The two square off and walk in a circle facing each other. A crowd forms and guys start to scream 'fight!' while girls tell them what to do to each other.::  
  
::Dee pulls out a baseball bat and whacks the girl in the head and the girl falls to floor unconscious::  
  
Dee: Now who else wants a piece of me? ::Looks around room as everyone whistles and slowly walks away::  
  
::Meanwhile, the two hosts finally get back to the television and start to broadcast the rest of the show. ::  
  
Kenji: ::Winces and scratches his head.:: I so hope that they did not get any of that predicament with the closet on the show...::Realizes the camera is zoomed in on him.:: OH! Er, hi...now it is time to go on with the show!  
  
Cocomi: Next up, we have InuYasha singing Hey Ya!  
  
::Crowd cheers, and a bra is thrown on the stage.::  
  
::Inuyasha stands up on the stage in suspenders that are green with a microphone in his hand. He is close to passing out.::  
  
Inuyasha: ::Yells.:: Ok, a 1 2 3-OH MY GOD!!!!!!  
  
::InuYasha looks behind him to see that the back-up singers/dancers are none other than Naraku, Sesshomaru, and Aoshi. They all are in green dresses with green shoes accompanied by white socks.::  
  
Aoshi: WHAT THE HELL?  
  
Naraku: ::Grins like a school girl.:: I told you we could get back stage passes!  
  
Sesshomaru: How long before it isn't illegal to kill you?  
  
Naraku: Never! ::Smiles, jumps up and down.::  
  
Inuyasha: ::Looks back at them, dumbfounded.:: There is no way in hell that I am doing this shit.  
  
Crowd: Do it! Do it! Do it!  
  
Guy#1: Sing! Sing or we'll start to protest outside of the building! NO MORE MOSHPITS!  
  
::Inuyasha gulps, and then signals to the DJ to start the song. He gets ready to sing with the horrid back up dancers, and starts shake, hoping that someone will just take a gun and shoot him, ending it all. For once he hoped that the security was not as tight.::  
  
Inuyasha:  
  
1, 2, 3, go!  
  
My baby don't mess around Because she loves me so And this I know fa sho (Uh!)  
  
::Aoshi, Naraku and Fluffy Clap.::  
  
But does she really wanna But can't stand to see me walk out the do'  
  
::Clap Clap Clap.::  
  
Don't try to fight the feeling 'Cause the thought alone Is killing me right now (Uh!)  
  
::Clap Clap Clap.:: Thank God for Mom and Dad For sticking two together 'Cause we don't know how  
  
::Inuyasha, Aoshi, Naraku and Fluffy sing.::  
  
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya  
  
::Inuyasha and the gang really get into it, and it looks for once that Inuyasha is really enjoying himself.::  
  
You think you've got it Oh, you think you've got it But got it just don't get it Til there's nothing at all (Ah!) We get together Oh, we get together But separate's always better When there's feelings involved (Oh!) If what they say is nothing is forever, Then what makes Then what makes Then what makes Then what makes Then what makes (What makes? What makes?) Love the exception? So why oh, why oh Why oh, why oh, why oh Are we so in denial When we know we're not happy here?  
  
Ya'll don't want to hear me You just want to dance Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya  
  
Oh oh! Oh oh! Don't want to meet your daddy (Oh oh!) Just want you in my Caddy (Oh oh! Oh oh!) Don't want to meet your momma (Oh oh!) Just want to make you come-a (Oh oh!) I'm (Oh oh!) I'm (Oh oh!) I'm just being honest (Oh oh!) I'm just being honest  
  
::Inuyasha starts to dance really weird and does the robot. Dee looks ahead in bewilderment. She holds a camera up to the stage and intently records him and the other three.::  
  
Dee: ::Laughs.:: This is going to fetch a really good price on E-bay, let's watch the fan girls go wild now! ::She laughs really evil as the inu gang starts to back away. She whips around to stare at all of them crazily. ::  
  
Hey! Alright now! Alright now, fellas! (Yeah!) Now what's cooler than being cool? (Ice cold!) I can't hear ya! I say what's, what's cooler than being cool? (Ice cold!) Alright! (15x)  
  
Dee: ::Screams.:: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?!? Kagome: You are framing Inuyasha! I can't let you do that! Dee: ::Snickers.:: WATCH ME! ::Dee focuses the camera in on Inuyasha as he is dancing with the other three. He begins to sing.::  
  
Inuyasha:  
  
Okay now, ladies! (Yeah!) Now we gon' break this thing down in just a few seconds Now don't have me break this thing down for nothin! Now I wanna see ya'll on ya'll baddest behavior! Lend me some sugar! I am your neighbor! Ah! Here we go! Uh!  
  
Shake it, sh-shake it (Oh oh!) Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, shake it Sh-shake it (Oh oh!) Shake it like a polaroid picture Shake it, sh-shake it (Hey ya!) Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, shake it Shake it, sh-shake it (Shake it sugar!) Shake it like a polaroid picture  
  
(Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, shake it Sh-shake it Shake it like a polaroid picture Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, shake it Shake it, sh-shake it Shake it like a Polaroid picture)  
  
Now all Beyonce's and Lucy Lui's and baby dolls Get on the floor Get on the floor You know what to do You know what to do You know what to do  
  
Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya Hey Ya.. Hey Ya....  
  
::The song is done, and Inuyasha sighs in relief. He looks around to his adoring fans and starts to act arrogant as he bows. Suddenly he realizes that Dee has the video camera.::  
  
Inuyasha: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?  
  
::He jumps into the audience to pounce her and get the camera away. He hopes that she will drop the camera and all evidence will be ruined, and that his fans will to a moshpit for him. He was wrong.::  
  
Dee: ::Winces.:: SAY CHHEEESSSSEEEE!  
  
Inuyasha: My life is a living hell...  
  
::::::::::::::::::::Next time on Songfic Shuffle...::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Aoshi: What the Hell?  
  
Sango: Who's going to sing next?  
  
Aoshi: He said I was...but...but I DON"T WANT TO!  
  
Sesshomaru: I'll go ahead and sing. After all, Rin would like it very much...I guess. She'll get to see me on television. Plus, I get to get away from Naraku. ::Whispers.:: I think he's gay...  
  
Naraku: ::Yells.:: Oh sugar dumpling pumpkin candy sweetie pie soufflé chocolate surprise! Where are you?  
  
Sesshomaru: Shit...  
  
POB: Wow, I really liked that chapter. I think Dee was a little high...eh?  
  
Del: She isn't the only one... If you know what I mean ::Shows a dirty grin.::  
  
POB: No, not again! I've had enough for today! ::Screams.::  
  
Del: Come here...::Grabs her waist, she shrieks.::  
  
:: The two of them run around the room while Dee goes crazy in a corner.::  
  
Dee: ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT! Gently down the STREEEEEAAAAAM!!!!!::  
  
Ok, that is it with this chappie. Note how it's really starting to turn into an inu fic. What can I say? They are just to funny to handle! Oh, please R&R. This is my first humor fic and I wanna know how I am doing! Thank you veeeerrrryyy much! I love you all for taking the time out to read this-you made my day! 


	3. The new Lou Begas?

Author's Note: Because of an upload error in the Chapter Organizer thingy, when an action is taking place, you will see a double set of colons at the beginning and end of the action taking place. (::) Hopefully, this will drop the confusion. Domo!  
  
POB: ::Runs around the room:: Del! I am telling you, get off of me! I swear that if you don't stop man-handling me I'll-  
  
Del: ::Looks at her, one eyebrow rises:: You'll what? You know you want to...it's only obvious...you may be holding up this act now but later on you'll be like, 'Oh Del, why don't we go and have a little fun?'  
  
POB: Oh, my, gosh! Del! You know I'm not like that. That's how YOU act. Besides, after you two-timed Dee, and me, I don't want to have anything to do with you! ::She runs away::  
  
Del: ::Looks as she runs, starts to pout:: Oh, you just watch her, she'll be back...I hope.  
  
Dee: Since you two are having your little "All My Children" episode over there, I'll do the disclaimer. The PriestessOfBlue does not own anyone except for Cocomi Myojin, and Del. ::Snickers:: He's such a dog, she should get him a dog collar!  
  
Del: ::Looks over to her:: I HEARD THAT!  
  
::::::::::Chapter Three::::::::::  
  
::Inuyasha had just finished singing his song on the stage. Very embarrassed because Dee had the Video Camera and was taping the whole thing, he jumped in the audience in an attempt to get her and the evidence, but he failed. Now he lies on the ground, as if Kagome just told him to sit::  
  
Inuyasha: ::Mumbles to self, curses a little bit:: Wait till I get a hold of her, then she won't be able to walk! That little-  
  
Dee: Ah ah ah, Inuyasha! ::Holds tape in the air:: You are going to have to do a little bit of begging if you want this tape back. Since you are a dog, I bet you are quite the professional at that type of thing. ::Hides tape in her pocket:: Nothing like a little blackmail to calm the senses.  
  
Shippo: ::Shakes head:: Hey Dee, that really isn't nice...even if Inuyasha is mean all the time, he still deserves to be treated like everyone else-a real, true, human being, with feelings.  
  
Crowd: AAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!  
  
Dee: ::Oh shut the hell up Shippo! Like I was freaking asking you! You need to mind your own business you little-  
  
Sango: Ok, Ok, we just need to stop all of this quarreling and enjoy the show. Ok? ::Looks to everyone::  
  
All: ::Shout:: YEAH!  
  
::They all help up Inuyasha and they take him to his dressing room to get him changed into some more comfortable clothes::  
  
Inuyasha: ::Winces:: Oh, these suspenders are going up my-  
  
Miroku: Too much Information...  
  
::Meanwhile, Cocomi and Kenji are getting ready to appear before the camera again. Cocomi is tending to Kenji's cheek, for some lipstick from their last kiss got on him::  
  
Cameraman: Ok, In three, two, one, ::Whispers:: GO!  
  
Kenji: ::Speaks:: Ok, Welcome back to Songfic Shuffle! I hope that all of you are enjoying yourselves as we continue on into the night with our musical performances. The night is still young!  
  
Cocomi: ::Squeals:: Ack! Kenji, don't touch me there! Ok, we now have our next act ready for the stage. After less than an hour, this person will perform in front of all of you. Ok! ::Struggles with reading the paper in her hand:: Umm, Kenji?  
  
Kenji: Yeah Baby?  
  
Cocomi: ::Looks up at him, puppy-dog-faced:: Could you decipher this for me? It's a little tricky...  
  
Kenji: Sure. ::Holds her as he leans over to see the paper. A name is crossed out and two are written in, which appear to be written with a red pen, signaling something:: Hey, sweetie, someone scratched out Aoshi's name...and they put two in place of it...  
  
Cocomi: Hopefully it was just a technicality...  
  
Kenji: Ok...You all voted, and it looks as if we have a tie!  
  
::The crowd cheers loudly as a select few pound their feet on the ground. Hoots and hollers can be heard as girls scream out loud.::  
  
Cocomi: They are, Sesshomaru...  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Smirks, and his hands fold:: Joy...Rin will pay dearly for this, but I hope she likes it. This will really make her happy.  
  
Kenji: And...::Drum roll:: MIROKU!  
  
Sango: ::Gasps:: Miroku?  
  
Kagome: ::Laughs:: Mi-mi-roooo-kuuuu?  
  
Miroku: ::Hollers:: OH BABY YEAH!  
  
::The few people standing by him start to inch away as he starts to dance in happiness::  
  
Kenji: Ok, DJ, what are the rules for a tie?  
  
DJ: Ok, the ground rules are:  
  
The Tie-ees can have a sing-off in which they both sing the song requested, and the audience votes for the better act. Or... They can sing it together.  
  
DJ: If you ask me, singing it together would be les time-consuming, and it would give us more time to laugh at you as you embarrass the hell out of yourselves at the same time. Whatever works?  
  
Cocomi: ::Question mark develops over head:: Who gets to determine this?  
  
DJ: ::Smiles:: Why, the talent, of course! So, what do you guys want to do?  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Glares:: I'd rather indulge in competition, to prove how much better I really am evaluated to this unholy monk...  
  
Miroku: Unholy...? Do not disgrace the prophets of Buddha in such a manner! For that rude and unnecessary comment, I should swallow you with my wind tunnel.  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Looks at him sarcastically:: May I remind you of your unholy habit-you caress the bottoms of females, and a few men, and you interrogate every woman you meet if they would bare your child. That is just all- around desired fornication.  
  
Miroku: ::Looks at him, left eyebrow twitches:: Do you ever shut up? No wonder Rin cries all the time. Besides, I would like to sing along with you. This way, we could show how two of the worst enemies can band together and kick ass at some singing. What do you say, lord of the Southern lands?  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Looks annoyed, rolls eyes slightly:: Western...  
  
Miroku: ::Rolls eyes:: Whatever. ::Shakes Sesshomaru's hand::  
  
DJ: ::Clap hands together happily:: OK! That's what I like to see! All right, now, do you two want to know which song you'll be singing?  
  
Miroku: Hit me!  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Stares seriously:: Nani?  
  
DJ: Mambo No.5! By that Notorious Lou Bega!  
  
Miroku: :: That is my song! Oh, this is going to be awesome.  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Stares blankly::...Who in the hell is Lou Bega?  
  
DJ: The only thing in this song you are required to change is the name of the girls. This will add a little bit of originality to it all. So, you two go to your dressing rooms, get ready, and then rehearse this song. You two are in for a big haul!  
  
::Crowd cheers loudly, Sesshomaru and Miroku are shoved into dressing rooms at the back of the stage by burly men::  
  
Meanwhile, back at the gang, they talk about the upcoming act involving two of the most unlikely to be paired up characters.  
  
Sango: It's all so weird, I can't believe Sesshomaru, and ::Laughs:: Miroku...will be performing together! ::Breaks out into a torrent of laughter as she holds her side, gasping for air::  
  
Kagome: Yeah! ::Laughs again with Sango, louder than ever::  
  
Inuyasha: ::Growls:: I hope Sesshomaru falls off the fucking stage, that'll be a sight to see...feh! ::Laughs to himself, chortles::  
  
Shippo: You guys are so mean! I swear! Why are you teasing them so bad? It's not like they did anything bad to you, is it?  
  
Inuyasha: ::Eyes roll, looks over at Shippo and his eyebrows rise then fall. He is really irritated:: I am only going to say his to you once- SHUT THE HELL UP! ::Puts hands around Shippo and chokes him::  
  
Kagome: ::Still laughing:: Ok, Inuyasha, you had your fun, hehe, stop choking Shippo, hehehe...  
  
Sango: ::Giggles:: Ok, you can put him down now...Inuyasha...Inuyasha?  
  
Inuyasha: ::Still choking Shippo:: You little !#$#$%! I swear to ##%%&% Buddha $#W$# of a #$%$%$$% I'll kick your $$!!!!!  
  
Shippo: ::Sighs:: I think I need to go throw up...::Runs to bathroom::  
  
::Meanwhile, Kenji and Cocomi are patiently waiting as the crew sets up the stage for the next performance by Sesshomaru and Miroku. Lights are being put everywhere, and the band is rehearsing::  
  
Guy on Trumpet: ::Polishes instrument:: I sure do hope that they are going to sing well, because I am not going to waste my talent on people who can't sing. ::Sighs::  
  
DJ: What talent? ::Looks at him weird:: I see no talent...  
  
GOT: ::Sticks up middle finger:: You need to shut up. I need none of your shit. At least I play an instrument, and I don't sit at some desk scratching records!  
  
DJ: Hey, hey now...you do not diss the DJ. I'd kick your ass if we weren't on in 10 minutes.  
  
GOT: ::Glares:: You meet me in the parking lot after this song, you hear?  
  
DJ: ::Yells:: I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR! ::Whispers:: Bitch...  
  
GOT: What?  
  
DJ: What? I didn't say anything...  
  
In an instant, the camera flashes on Kenji and Cocomi, and they get ready to talk again.  
  
Kenji: ::Grins:: Welcome everyone! We are just about to witness our next act-Mambo No. 5 by Sesshomaru and ::Laughs:: Miroku...::Bursts out laughing::  
  
Cocomi: ::Laughs along:: This is going to prove to be quite an interesting sight, everyone!  
  
Kenji: ::Hugs Coco:: Yeah, I know. Now, let's transfer to the stage, everyone, as this song takes into full effect. Now to give a proper introduction!  
  
DJ: ::Drumrolls:: And now, here is Sesshomaru and Miroku ::Laughs:: Performing MAMBO No. 5!  
  
:: The band revs up their instruments. On the stage, it suddenly blacks out, and as the rustling gets louder, the lights grow brighter and you can see two figures with their backs turned to the audience. One is holding a pimp cane::  
  
Sesshomaru and Miroku: ::Say at the same time:: Ladies and gentlemen- This is Mambo... No.5  
  
::The music starts, and they move in unison to the beat as they tap their toes. Still turned back to the audience, they suddenly spin around and snatch their microphones from the stands. Sesshomaru is dressed up in a gold suit with pants and jacket and a red velvet vest. A velvet napkin resides in his pocket on his left side. He is wearing a gold derby hat with a velvet brim. Miroku is wearing the same outfit only his velvet is purple and his pants, jacket and vest are silver. Sesshomaru starts to sing::  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Looking uneasy, a small grin on his face as he starts to dance to the beat::  
  
One, two, three, four, five Everybody's in the car so come on let's ride To the liquor-store around the corner The boys say they want some gin and juice But I really don't wanna  
  
::Sesshomaru starts to dance in front of everyone as Miroku begins to sing the next part::  
  
Miroku: ::Has that sly cunning look on his face and eyes and winks at all the girls in the crowd as he sings::  
  
Beer bust like I had last week I must stay deep Because talk is cheap I like Ayame, Sakura, Sango and Rin And as I continue you know They're getting sweeter again  
  
::Throws hat into crowd, girls scream as they fight over it::  
  
Girl # 1: Ahhh! It's mine! Girl # 2: Oh hell no, it's mine! Girl # 3: You two are both wrong-IT'S MINE!  
  
::Girl runs off with hat, screaming sweet victory in the air::  
  
Dee: Oh hell yeah, now for my revenge!  
  
::Cocomi looks over to see Dee looking all paranoid and stuff, a question mark forms over her head::  
  
Cocomi: What revenge?  
  
Dee: I don't know...I guess I just said that to savor the moment...  
  
Cocomi: ...  
  
Dee: Oh shut up! Besides, ::Sighs happily:: it's the only thing Miroku would let me bear, uh, wear.  
  
Cocomi: Oh good lord.  
  
::Sesshomaru sings again::  
  
So what can I do I really beg and you my Lord To me flirting it's just like sport, anything fly It's all good let me dump it Please set in the trumpet  
  
::He spins around and does the moonwalk to the right side of the stage as Miroku steals his mike form him::  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Looks at him pissed as she crosses his arms, still moonwalking, loudly whispers:: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Miroku: ::Rolls eyes, whispers back:: We are going to have to share a microphone because mine broke!  
  
Sesshomaru: How the hell did that happen?  
  
Miroku: ::Shrugs:: Oh, never mind! Just keep doing what you are doing!  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Glares at Miroku:: Just don't try to steal the show-I am watching you...  
  
Miroku pops his collar and shines his canine teeth at the crowd, a couple of people faint, including a certain gay man...  
  
Naraku: ::Cries:: OH I LOVE YOU SESSHOMARU! YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE! ::Giggles:: DOESN'T HE HAVE THE NICEST ASS?  
  
::A few of the males back away from him in the crowd, scared, mostly disgusted::  
  
Kagome: ::Staring over at Sesshomaru still dancing, hearts in her eyes:: Well, duh for stating the obvious...mmmmmm ::licks lip::  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome...::Nudges her:: Uh, Kaaaaaggggggooooommmmmeee?  
  
Kagome: ::Suddenly comes out of trance:: Uh, huh? Oh, um, this is pretty funny huh? HA...HA...HAHAHA...HAHA...look at Miroku!  
  
Inuyasha: ::Glares sharply:: I'm watching you, Sesshomaru...  
  
Miroku sings:  
  
A little bit of Morie in my life A little bit of Keiko by my side A little bit of Rin is all I need A little bit of Kagome is what I see A little bit of Sango in the sun A little bit of Misao all night long A little bit of Serena here I am A little bit of you makes me your man (Does that little yell that Lou does, you will know what I am talking about if you have heard it before...)  
  
Mambo No.5  
  
Miroku starts to swing around with the microphone stand and does the splits, a few girls scream.  
  
Sango: ::Stares dazed:: Nani...I didn't know houshi-sama was that flexible...mmmmmmm.  
  
Inuyasha: ::Eyes stare scared:: Oh no, not you too...  
  
::Sesshomaru and Miroku stand in front of the crowd and start to perform the following lyrics. The two of them are dancing together and having the time of their lives, trying their best to outdo each other::  
  
Jump up and down go and move it all around Shake your head to the sound Put your hand on the ground Take one step left And one step right One to the front and one to the side Clap your hands once And clap your hands twice And if it looks like this Then you are doing it right  
  
Miroku: ::Points at Sesshomaru and laughs:: I really can dance better than you...  
  
Sesshomaru: No you can't...  
  
::Both sing into the microphone::  
  
A little bit of Morie in my life A little bit of Keiko by my side A little bit of Rin is all I need A little bit of Kagome is what I see A little bit of Sango in the sun A little bit of Kaoru all night long A little bit of Serena here I am A little bit of you makes me your man (Yell) Guy with trumpet: ::Looks stuck up, plays his solo as DJ glares over at him, throws a disc behind to his head and he screws up on the last note::  
  
Mambo No.5 ::Both sing into same microphone::  
  
A little bit of Maru in my life A little bit of Erica by my side A little bit of Rin is all I need A little bit of Kagome is what I see A little bit of Sango in the sun A little bit of Kaoru all night long A little bit of Serena here I am A little bit of you makes me your man (Yell)  
  
::Sesshomaru yanks the microphone from Miroku and gets down on the stage and sings, really hogging up the light::  
  
I do all To fall in love with a girl like you You can't run and you can't hide You and me gonna touch the skyyyyyyyyyy- yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!  
  
::Holds head in pain crying, find out that stray lock of his hair has been ripped out by a crazy fan girl::  
  
Dee: ::Grins:: I told you, if you didn't return my calls, something bad would happen...! ::shoves hair into jean pocket after smelling it:: OOOhhh, Herbal Essences©...  
  
::Miroku steals the microphone to finish up the song as people are dancing like crazy in the crowd. He speeds up the song, afraid that people will be trampled to death if the song continues on::  
  
A little bit of Misao in my life A little bit of Keiko by my side A little bit of Rin is all I need A little bit of Kagome is what I see A little bit of Sango in the sun A little bit of Morie all night long A little bit of Serena here I am A little bit of you makes me your man  
  
::The two strike a pose as the song comes to an end.::  
  
::The crowd of rabid fan girls scream out loud and the two bow at their adoring fans::  
  
Miroku: ::Glances over at Sesshomaru:: Well, partner, it looks like we did pretty good together...good job! ::Offers hand out to him::  
  
Sesshomaru: ::Shakes it:: Same to you. You can dance really well, Houshi...  
  
Miroku: No, actually you can-I was amazed!  
  
::Meanwhile, at Sesshomaru's house, Rin is sitting at the TV glued to it with a bowl of popcorn and a Juicy Juice©.::  
  
Rin: ::Smiles:: Oh, Lord Sesshomaru did a wonderful job!  
  
::Jaken comes out in a frilly pink apron holding a batch of cookies::  
  
Jaken: ::Fakes looking disappointed:: Oh no, I guess I didn't see it...  
  
Rin: ::Looks up at him innocently:: No, I'll just tell Lord Sesshomaru that you missed it on purpose, like you said you would, because you wanted to be there, but you couldn't because you had to baby-sit me...  
  
Jaken: ::Rolls eyes: Sometimes you know too much for your own good...  
  
::::::::::Next time on Songfic Shuffle::::::::::  
  
POB: Wahahahahaha! I am going to cut right to me, Del and Dee because I want you all to wait, I don't want to give anything away anymore! Oh, and this Chapter is solely dedicated to LuClipse85! Without her, my ideas would be wondering in a trash can somewhere! Thank you! ::Grins::  
  
Del: Yeah...right  
  
POB: Still not talking to you...  
  
Del: Still couldn't care...  
  
Dee: You two have serious problems...  
  
Alright! Sorry it took so long, but there it was! Ok, thank you very much, and I hope that you all review. I beg of you! 2 reviews by one person in almost a month is a little disheartening, but at least someone out there shares my sense of humor...lol...I'm joking. I love you all! Thank you again! 


	4. Dip It Low, Sango! Part I

POB: ::Growls angrily:: You stupid jerk! I told you not to touch me, but you are so damn persistent! ::Is trying to break free from Del's hold, because he has her close to him, holding her rather tightly from behind.::

Del: ::Barks:: Well, If you weren't so easy then maybe I wouldn't have the need to!

::An imitation record scratch is heard, and POB and Dee freeze, then turn around slowly to glare at Del.::

POB: ::Whispers demonically:: Easy?! Easy?! EASY????!!!! You…you…

Dee: ::Shakes head knowingly:: Whatever you were thinking, you should have just kept it in your head, Del…tsk tsk tsk, so sad…

Del: ::What the hell? I didn't mean it like that! Honey please…take a second to listen to me! ::Slowly backs away, eyes wide::

POB: :: Starts to breathe heavily:: What other way could you have meant it? Huh? ::Charges for him, and runs into him, but he is quick and picks her up and flips her over, then pins her to the ground, looking into her eyes as she stares up at him angrily. He smirks.::

Del: ::Grins:: Now now, love…let me see…do you feel easy now?

POB: ::Scowls:: More than ever…

Del: ::Kisses her:: Now, baby, do you feel easy? ::Looks into her eyes with care::

POB: ::Blushes:: Not…really.

Dee: ::Shakes head:: When will those two ever learn? I swear…

::::::::::Five Minutes Later::::::::::

::A rhythmic sound is heard coming from behind the door of a room as Dee closes her ears, writhing on the floor screaming to make it stop. POB and Del are nowhere to be seen.::

Dee: ::Cries out loud:: WILL YOU TWO STOP IT PLEASE AND DO THE DAMN DISCLAIMER! THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME! YOU TWO GET MAD AT EACH OTHER, MAKE UP, AND FUCK RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THE DISCLAIMER! DO YOU HAVE ANY MORALS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS YOU COUPLE OF FRISKY RABBITS?

POB: ::Screams:: DEL!

Del: ::Moans in throat, then whispers:: Honey, maybe you should do it before she exposes us…::Kisses her::

POB: ::Shakes head, breathless:: No, I…I…don't stop!

Dee: ::Gets really mad.:: FINE! DO YOU READERS OUT THERE WANT A DISCLAIMER? THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A DISCLAIMER!

::She tries to drown out the sounds as they are getting louder and louder from the other room. Dee closes her ears and starts to scream the disclaimer.::

Dee: ::Screams:: The characters in this story all belong to their respectful owners except for the PriestessOfBlue, who belongs solely to Delancey James Dunn, and Delancey James Dunn, who belongs to himself. So he owns her and himself. Kenji might as well own Cocomi, because they are a bunch of freak-a-leaks! I mean, I've seen less kanoodling in…goddammit i have just seen less kanoodling everywhere! So, that is the disclaimer! If you want to know who owns me, it is strictly NO ONE! I am independent! Well, maybe Sesshomaru or Miroku owns me, along with the children that I am carrying that they are in fact the fathers of!

Miroku: ::Sighs:: In your dreams…there is only one for me, and it is Sango! Wait, er…maybe not exactly truly for surely her, but just not you. I hope I made that clear.

Sesshomaru: Women like you barely faze me. I'd rather die a bachelor than spend one night with you, if God would allow. ::Looks uninterested.::

Dee: You two aren't even allowed in the disclaimer! Get out! Or I'll go to extreme measures to get you out! ::Shoos them:: Shoo! Shoo!

Miroku: ::Eyes widen:: HEY! You don't have to grab my ass if you want to shoo me out, just push me, sheesh!

Dee: ::Laughs evilly:: Now you know how it feels you bastard!

Sesshomaru: ::Growls:: STOP playing with my hair! I washed it just this morning and I don't want to have to do it again because of you!

::Dee snickers and shoos them off, after copping one last feel. POB and Del come out of the room, looking like a hot mess. They grin at each other before making their way toward Dee::

::Del kisses POB's neck as he holds her, them looking at Dee happily.::

Dee: ::Rolls eyes, clearly aggravated.:: So I see you two made up…can we get on with the story? This disclaimer took like, forever…

POB: ::Smiles, speaking rather placidly:: Ok, The PriestessOfBlue, also known as moi, does not own anyone except for the character Cocomi Myojin, and Delancey James Dunn. Everyone else is copyright to their respectful owners. Right love?

Del: ::Winks:: You know it…::Smiles::

Dee: ::Falls over::

::::::::::Chapter Four::::::::::

::Sesshomaru and Miroku have just finished performing their rendition of Mambo No. 5, and they are in their dressing room changing back into some more comfortable clothes. Ironically, someone decided to be a gay pervert and locked Sesshomaru off from his room, and now Sesshomaru and Miroku have to share one.::

Miroku: ::Sighs:: Well, that was a whole lot of fun, wasn't it?

Sesshomaru: ::Smiles a little:: Yes, actually it was. I wonder if Rin and Jaken saw it…

Miroku: ::Looks over at him, laughing:: Those two mean a lot to you, huh?

Sesshomaru: ::Seems to be lost in thought:: Yes, well, Rin does. She is like the little sister I never had…

Miroku: ::Question mark forms over head:: What? Little sister? I thought she would be like a little daughter to you…

Sesshomaru: Jaken is more like the daughter. Rin is almost a Tomboy.

::Miroku's eyes widen and he starts to laugh uncontrollably.:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you mean, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

::Sesshomaru shakes his head and laughs along with him, rather loud, If I might add.::

::Back at the Songfic Shuffle area, Cocomi and Kenji are getting really kissy on each other.::

Kenji: ::Whispers in her ear:: I'm so happy that I'm marrying you. You are my one and only. ::Hugs her, smiling::

::Cocomi blushes and looks at him.:: You are my one and only too…

Cameraman: ::Looks at the kanoodling couple in front of him and gets agitated.:: You know what?

::Kenji glares over at him, his purple eyes turning a bright red as Cocomi snuggles into him. The estranged cameraman gulps and stands there for a couple minutes as they finish up what they are doing.::

::Cocomi straightens up her hair and prepares for the camera as she retrieves her microphone from down Kenji's shirt. He makes sure his ponytail is straight and laughs to himself as the cameraman focuses in on them.::

Cocomi: ::Speaks:: Welcome back to the Infamous Songfic Shuffle, everyone! I'm, as you all know, Cocomi Myojin, soon to be Cocomi Myojin Himura! ::Smiles::

::The audience rolls their eyes in unison as a couple of groans wave throughout the crowd. A clearly pissed off person in the crowd yells at her, fist wavering in the air.::

Person in crowd: ::Screams:: HEY! Do us all a favor and get your ass of the stage!

::Cocomi's eyes widen as Kenji turns around and gives the man in the audience the eye. The man stammers and looks up at Kenji, who is about to open up a can of whoop-ass.::

Kenji: ::Glares, talking quietly:: I'm sorry, were you talking? I mean, your mouth was moving, but all I saw was you mumbling like a senseless retard. Do us all a favor and go back to the shit hole you came out of. ::Hugs Cocomi from behind, her eyes wide and apologetic to the man in front of them in the crowd.::

Person in crowd: ::Cowers sarcastically:: Oh? I'm…really sorry, Hitokiri Battousai…

Cocomi: ::Turns around to face him and blinks, eyes looking in horror at him because his eyes have completely turned blood red and his hair has started to float in the air.:: Wh-wh-why didn't you tell me?

Kenji: ::Looks at her with sorrow:: I did not think it would happen this way, love, but my father passed on his warrior skills to me, and unlike him, I cannot sustain them, along with his violent attitude, like he was, and is able to.

Cocomi: ::Looks to the ground timid and slightly afraid, still being held by him.:: So, that means that it is almost impossible for you to control your bouts of anger?

Kenji: Forgive me, my love, for what I am about to do. :: He picks her up and gently tosses her to Inuyasha and he pulls out the reverse blade he had in his pants. He gets in position as he sets up his sword, and shoots his famous death glare at the man in the crowd. The man snickers up at him.

Inuyasha: ::Catches Cocomi, and looks down on her, puzzled:: You ok, Coco? Sheesh, he is being so careless. You could have hurt yourself!

Cocomi: ::Looks up at him, very scared.:: Now I am, thank you for catching me, but I don't know what has gotten into him, and I don't want him to get hurt…but what are we going to do for the rest of the show?

Inuyasha: ::Laughs:: I guess we will have to wait until this blows over.

Girl #1: :: Ogles at Kenji:: Man, I did not know he had such a big sword! It's so…I mean…gah, wow! ::Drools::

Girl #2: ::Grins:: I wouldn't mind being beaten by that sword...it looks like he could do a whole lot of things with that thing…

::Cocomi gets a little mad and wavers her fists, then tries to get away from Inuyasha to beat up the girls. Inuyasha tries to hold her back as she tries her best to take a punch at the crowd. He panics, and then finally pins her down, looking at her as she is struggling to get away.::

Inuyasha: ::Shakes head in disbelief:: This is some crazy shit…

::On the contrary, where is Naraku? Psh, like no one really cares, but just where could he be? For the few lewd fans of his, I am going to tell you just where he is, so you don't pester me about the bastard later…::

::Naraku is, actually, the very person who locked Sesshomaru out of his dressing room-and ironically locked himself in. So, while the show is on a temporary delay, Naraku feels that it is time he got in touch with his inner self, and indulge in the next best thing that would make any difference in her-I mean his…cough life…::

Naraku: ::Squeals!:: I can't believe I am touching it! Oh my god! His…his…dare I say? UNDERWEAR! Oh sweet Buddha! I'm not in heaven! But better, I'm reincarnated!

::Naraku, being the pig he is, rummages through some more of Fluffy's drawers as his eyes widen in excitement. He lays upon some more underwear, until he finds something he wish he would have never found.::

Naraku: ::Blinks:: EEP! This means that there is no way in hell that he could be gay! ::Cries:: My life mission is ruined! How will I be able to make him my lover? I want him so bad! ::Evil grin.:: Well…I could force him. There is no bad thing about forced love…I have done it in the past, so what could make it that bad?

::Naraku takes a sniff of the underwear he found in his hands and he jumps up and down on the bed, squealing at his master plan. Meanwhile, an unexpected couple is walking through the halls, hearing the squeaks of the bed.::

Kouga: ::Growls, smiling slyly:: You know Ayame, that outfit you are wearing is pretty revealing…kinda my taste, if you know what I mean…::Looks at her in the light of the hall, stopping at the sound she apparently hears.::

Ayame: ::Ears perk up.:: Kouga…did you hear that?

Kouga: ::Moves onto her, kissing her neck:: No, I didn't hear nothin'…

Ayame: ::Gets agitated and pushes him off of her. She moves in the direction of the sound as he grumbles, moving toward her, following the sound as well.:: Do you hear that, Kouga?

Kouga: ::Winces:: Is that coming from Sesshomaru's room?

Ayame: ::Eyes widen.:: Do you hear the creaking of a bed?

::Naraku is heard squealing as he is jumping higher (and harder) on the bed.::

Naraku: ::Chirps.:: OH SESSHOMARU! YOU ARE SO HOT! YOU ARE MINE, YOU HEAR ME? MINE YOU SEXY DOG DEMON! Take me away!

::Ayame and Kouga look at each other straight in the eye and Kouga laughs as he tries to control Ayame, who is about to regurgitate. They run away before Naraku walks out of the dressing room::

::Meanwhile (I think that is turning into one of my favorite words now, desu ka? Ah hee hee!) Kenji has finished that battle he had with the illiterate man in the crowd, who turned out to be…::

Kenji: ::Blinks, looking down on his defeated sparring partner.:: Yuske? Oh shit! I am going to die when he wakes up!

Inuyasha: ::Shakes head:: You know it. If there is anyone meaner than me, it has to be Yuske for sure.

Cocomi: ::Manages to writhe from Inuyasha's strong grip, and runs to Kenji's side, looking at him pleadingly.:: Well, my love, no use crying over spilt milk! We need to get on with the show! This delay is…what do I say…inconvenient?

Kenji: ::Gazes at her, smiling:: You are correct love. ::A mike appears out of no where along with the camera man who should be fired.::

Kenji: WELOME BACK FOLKS! Sorry for the inconvenient delay, but now we are back to bring you more of what you all want…SONGFICS!

::The crowd gives a standing ovation to him, screaming and cheering out loud.::

Cocomi: ::Smiles:: So, audience, it is your turn to vote, once again. What will our fourth performance be? You make the choice! We will be back after a quick commercial break, uppity and ready with the results that you all have pitched in to create!

Kenji: ::Tickles her as she laughs:: See ya in a few!

::The audience starts to vote electronically as many people wait anxiously to find out who will perform next.::

::About 10 minutes later, the DJ goes to the counting booth and checks up on the stats.::

DJ: ::Speaks to counter:: So, have you guys found out who will be performing next?

::One of the counters looks at the stats in wonder in his hand as he slowly looks up to the DJ::

Counter: ::Blinks, smiling a little:: Our first female contestant, and it seems the most unlikely…

DJ: ::Looks at the counter smiling:: And just who could that be?

:: The counter looks at the DJ and motions for him to come closer, as if he is going to whisper in his ear. He does so, and when those two fateful words are whispered the DJ's eyes widen in surprise and he smiles, laughing out loud.::

DJ: ::Talks rather loudly:: HER? Man, if the men in the crowd want a striptease, I don't think they will get it.

Counter: ::Smiles:: I guess that is just how the game goes. Go announce it, man, the public awaits.

::the DJ moves back to his desk, wondering just how the crowd-and the person- will react when they find out just who has to sing.::

::Meanwhile, Kenji and Cocomi are ready to appear in the camera as the cameraman looks on in repulsion. Kenji had threatened him that if he dare say anything about the two of them, he would not have a job anymore. Sadly, the cameraman's only income came form the taping of live shows, so he had to agree, or else he'd be out on the streets…poor cameraman…sniff::

Kenji: ::Smiles:: Welcome back, ladies and gents! Now it is time to announce the next perfomer…::yells to the audience:: ARE YA READY?

Audience: ::Hoots, hollers, screams:: YEEEAAAAHHHH!

Cocomi: ::Looks over to DJ:: Hey DJ, that's my DJ, go DJ, TAKE IT AWAY!

DJ: ::Laughs:: Thanks, Coco. Our next performer will be…::pretends to open up paper:: Miss…DEMON EXTERMINATOR SANGO!

Sango: ::Eyes widen:: M-m-Me? ME?

Kagome: ::Laughs:: ALL RIGHT! GO SANGO!

Shippo: YIPEE!!!

::The audience cheers as the scared Sango turns pale and sick::

Sango: ::Blinks:: Why me? I can't sing? I can't even dance! What song? What? ::Slowly slumps down onto floor, nauseated.:: Kagome, I can't do this…

Kagome: ::Slowly helps her friend up.:: Yes you can! I'll even be in the dressing room with you!

DJ: ::Looks at the flustered Sango:: Hey, Sango, slow your roll, I haven't even told you what song you will be singing!

Sango: ::Tries to run away and break free form Kagome's hold:: EXACTLY! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!!!

DJ: ::Shakes head, laughing loudly:: Too bad, girl. I'm telling you anyways. The song that you will be performing in front of an audience of jealous girls and lustful men is…DIP IT LOW BY CHRISTINA MILIAN!

Sango: ::Yells:: WHAT? AND DEGRADE THE FEMALE SOCITEY MORE? NEVER! THAT SONG IS A LEWD, DISTASTEFUL EXAMPLE OF WOMEN PERCEIVED BY THE MALE PATRIARCHAL MIND!

DJ: ::Rolls eyes:: Whatever the hell you just said, you are up next. ASSISTANTS! Please get DES to a dressing room!

::The male audience members hoot and holler at her as she is carried off to the dressing room. At the same time, Kouga and Ayame come to the center of the stage and steal a microphone, panting heavily from the running they had done. Kenji and Cocomi look up at them in confusion as Kouga starts to speak::

Kouga: EVERYONE! LISTEN TO ME!

Inuyasha: :Glares, Yelling:: WHO WANTS TO?

Kouga: ::Growls:: You shut the fuck up I ain't talking to you!

Inuyasha: ::Yells:: Oh the hell you were shit brain! You wanna take it outside?

Kouga: ::Screams:: MAKE ME!

::Ayame steals his microphone and talks to the audience while the two bicker on the sidelines.::

Ayame: ::Rolls eyes, then looks seriously to the audience:: We think that Naraku has subdued Sesshomaru, and is now trying to kill him! We heard it all, from the

first puncture to the last blood curdling moan…its horrible…

Kagome: ::Looks around:: What do you mean subdued?

Ayame: Oh forget it. Naraku is gay and he has taken Sesshomaru against his will as his love slave!

::The crowd gasps in shock as ten people throw up on the floor and a couple of people scream at how gross that is.::

Kenshin: ::Screams at the top of his lungs:: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

Kaoru: ::Shakes head:: I mean, I can understand what he would do with Sesshomaru. I know he isn't gay…

::All of a sudden, Miroku and Sesshomaru appear out of the dressing room and walk toward the center of the room. Everything and everyone go silent as the stare at them, blinking. The throw-up-ees begin their second round of regurgitation as Ayame looks on in horror.::

Ayame: ::Cringes:: Miroku, Sesshomaru, were you two, in the same dressing room, for some reason?

Sesshomaru: ::Looks around at everyone, wondering why everyone has that eerie look on their face.:: Yes, only because someone locked me out of my dressing room. So I got ready in Miroku's.

::A huge wave of sighs of relief come over the whole entire as people hi-five each other and girls fall on the ground, thanking God, Buddha, and whoever else they may worship. Miroku turns to Sesshomaru and raises one of his eyebrows as Sesshomaru shakes his head::

Miroku: ::Blinks:: I think it's a whole lot better if we don't ask.

Sesshomaru: For once, I agree with you, monk.

Miroku: ::Turns to DJ:: So, man, who's singing next?

::the DJ comes over to Miroku and whispers who is performing, and Miroku falls to the floor, before quickly getting back up again.::

Miroku: ::Screams:: Sango? Sango? SANGO? SAAAANGO?

Sesshomaru: ::Blinks:: Sango?

Miroku: ::Whispers to self, looking as if he is praying:: Thank you BUDDHA!

Sesshomaru: What did you say?

Miroku: ::Looks over quickly, a little unnerved:: er, nothing…

::Meanwhile, Sango is getting ready in her dressing room, and the crowd is readily anticipating the first female performance of the night.::

POB: ::Smiles:: And I am stoppin' it right THERE!

Dee: What? You've made them wait long enough, and now you are gonna delay the performance?

POB: ::Grins:: YESH! That was part one, everybody! I wanted to let you all know that even though I have been going through a lot, I HAVE NOT, and WILL NOT give up on SONGFIC SHUFFLE! IT IS HERE TO STAAAAAYYYY!

Dee: Great. Now I know that I at least have a job through Christmas….

Del: ::Walks over to POB:: Hey baby, I'm happy you're continuing the story…

POB: ::Blushes:: Th-th-thank you, love…

Dee: Did I not make myself clear? My mother fucking God. That is it! I am issuing a restraining order for you two!

Del: ::Scoffs:: And how the hell are you going to? Huh? I don't think you will be able to…you're just bluffing…

Dee: Watch me, you pot-smoking motherfucker…

OK! THIS CHAPTER IS SOLEY DEDICATED TO THE QUEEN OF HUMOR, LUCLIPSE85! I SWEAR YOU HAVE BEEN THERE FROM TH START, AND THIS WHOLE STORY GOES TO YOU! I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE IDEAS, AND SUPPORTING ME 100! I ALSO WANT TO THANK ALL MY REVIEWERS! BABY BOO, YOU WERE PART OF THAT INSPIRATION TOO! YOU WANTED ME TO CONTINUE, SO HERE'S TO YOU AS WELL! Thank you to all my reviewers!

Now, this was part one. How is Sago gonna do? Is someone gonna die? Will I kill someone? Will Del and POB stop their escapades? Will Dee completely lose faith in us and plot against the system? By the way, where the hell was she in the story? Hmm, I guess you'll hafta find out in part two…

Part two will be coming up! For now, Sayonara!

Priestess-Of-Blue


End file.
